I really like writing on Tumblr. It kinda helps me get all my thoughts out there in the open. I mean I know they are up there in my head, but to see them written on this little blank slate really puts me at ease. It kinda makes me feel like I’m putting my life in order. And the crazy thing is, I could care less if anyone reads this stuff or not. I mean it’s going on the internet so you all have the opportunity to, but I’d like to say these posts are more for me than they are for you. You are more than welcome to read and comment on these things mind you, but I’d be fine if you didn’t.
Alright so I was thinking, this music thing for me is really about to take off (or so it seems). And I’ve been thinking this whole time “I hope this doesn’t change who I am”. But to be real, I think it kinda has changed me already. I’ve been treating my friends like “fans” and always seem to have a objective in mind when I’m talking to them. So its kinda like “Hey buddy how’s it going!..you check out the new song yet?” And I feel that might be kinda wrong on my part. I mean sure, there is nothing wrong with wanting a fan to hear a song, but when does a friend stop being a friend and is a fan. Or can a fan become a friend..or is there such thing as both? I don’t know. I just know I don’t want to make anymore that likes the music I make feel unwanted. I do know that I kinda of left a friend of mine who has helped with the music making process in the dark about some certain areas and I feel horrible about that. I know that he only wants to feel included and by not keeping him in the circle, I know that he was definitely feeling used/unwanted/not needed/hurt. And that’s not cool at all. So I think after this post I’m gonna legit go apologize to this guy. I don’t really care that much about being signed to record label. I know it would be cool and everything, but it isn’t worth a good friend. Nothing is. Friends are what make music fun for me. I make music so that my friends can enjoy it, and who ever else happens to like it, great. But it’s more so for me and my friends. And if I burn all the bridges I’ve made and have no friends to enjoy this music with, then what do I really have at the end of the day? No, I’m not gonna let success change me into someone I’m not, especially if I’ve seen it’s ugly head so early on in this game. I know it’s going to be a lot more difficult to remain true to my friends and myself once things get busy, but I know I’m gonna try as hard as I can to stay real..and a real person needs to admit when they are wrong..which is what I’m about to go do now.